Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You need a sexual gate keeper
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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