You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
