problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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