Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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