Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
