I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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