i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
