woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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