We won't sleep together?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
