your parents love me but you hate me
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just high enough for therapy.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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