Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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