maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
