I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize