you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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