The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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