i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize