when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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