just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You pole danced in your parka.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
