I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
