My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think a kid would responsible me up
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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