How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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