I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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