Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
