Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Houston, we have a blender
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
