Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize