I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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