i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
