stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
