I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
