did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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