youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
