I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
