oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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