I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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