Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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