apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
