he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
