We need to rekindle our bromance
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
