if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
ugly people sure do ruin things
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
