I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
