Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
