A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just want to make out with him forever
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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