Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The Olympian is in my bed
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
