Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
