i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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