i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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