There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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