hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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