When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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