If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
