My brain says no but my pants say off.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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