apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
