You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
