Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
