dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
